Through consistent participation in all of the dharma programs, my sufferings have significantly decreased. In the past, I would stay with hurt for a very long period. Now even when someone says something that hurts me, it doesn’t remain with me for longer than two minutes. There is no carryover now. I had a terrible existence before as I lived in guilt for most part of my life. For years, I carried that guilt around with me. But now because of Amma Bhagavan’s grace all of that guilt is gone and I feel liberated.
I always had fear about my children’s future. Now, I no longer feel fear because my perception has changed-everything that occurs is for the highest good and is a part of God’s plan and is entirely automatic so nothing is in my control. I don’t pass judgement on myself or other people. Sometimes it occasionally arises but as soon as I become aware of that, it disappears.
I used to believe that people should interact with me in a certain manner, that they should only do things that I like or say, etc. I used to keep a lot of conditions on other people and if they didn’t comply, I would become very upset, furious, and would stop speaking to them. Now that old me is gone. I used to have a big ego and an attitude, as though everything that happened in my home and in my family was solely because of my effort. Nothing is going to happen if I’m not around. But by the grace of Paramjyoti Amma Bhagavan, I can now see that everything is automatic and that I’m not doing anything, therefore all of that ego and attitude has vanished. When I’m singing, I’m only singing. When I’m chanting. I’m only chanting. That I is not there. Everything is happening on its own. I can clearly experience this.
Inside, there is complete peace, joy and silence. When I close my eyes, I see a light entering my agnya chakra and filling me entirely, turning me into a light myself. This light then radiates outward, touching my neighbourhood, my state, my nation and the entire world. As a result of this, I feel extremely Satchitananda. I can also constantly feel Amma Bhagavan’s love and presence. I offer Sri Paramjyoti Amma Bhagavan my koti shashtang namaskar for bestowing upon me these incredible mukti states. Thank you so much Sri Amma Bhagavan. At your Divine Lotus Feet, forevermore.
Shashikala ji, Bangalore, Karnataka
